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Hidden Love"The young boys body has still not been discovered though we've been on the case for we-"
I turned the TV off. I didn't have to hear any more about his sudden disappearance. He's been missing for almost three weeks now. The police and family had been searching for him the first week but was classified "Dead" the next by the police. They've been trying to search for the body for the past couple of days of week three. It's been on the news frequently, and to make matters worse was the talk of the school.
"Where could he be?" "I wonder if he'll ever come back" "I hope they find the body".
I was near the brink of screaming at them all to just shut the hell up.
No one knew about us two. We were secret lovers behind everyone's back and no one - not even the closest of friends - could tell. To everyone we were only general friends who occasionally said hey to each other now and again. Which just makes it harder for me to hide the pain I'm really in.
I threw the remote over to the coach and de
Midnight: Chapter 1. Tala
10:34 Tala: Oh, I'm so tired *yawn*
10:34 Leon: It's only like, what, ten thirty?
10:35 Tala: Well, maybe if we'd not been up all night talking then I wouldn't feel this way.
10:35 Leon: Hey, don't blame me... I'm not tired at all. (:
Change." Change" he ordered.
" I can't" I said back, calmly.
"You know exactly what I'm talking back " he said back " you don't have any excuses"
" I swear, I don't " I said, my voice creeping higher. He sighed.
" You are now aware of what I'm capable of doing if you don't change, it will happen again" he said, calmly.
I flinched, remembering. He could make you feel pain just by looking at you. It reminded me of Jane out of the twilight saga. But that just scared me even more. Twilight is not real and none of this should be too.
" I know " I said slowly. " But trust me, I don't know what you mean by 'change', change what? " I asked. He sighed again.
" yourself" he answered coldly. I was seriously confused now. Change myself? what?
" Excuse me ?" I asked to make sure that was what I heard. He sighed for what had to be the third time only quicker. I could tell he was getting impatient.
" Look, I'm sorry, but I seriously don't know what your talking about, I mean,
I guess I love you...I love the way a smile appears on my lip's every time the thought of you passes threw my mind.
I love the way ever time I heard your name I feel all funny and can't help but wonder if you ever will be mine, and mine only.
I love the way I actually want to go to bed early just so I can see you in my wishful dreams.
I love how every time I see your face all I can do is imagine what the future would be like with you by my side.
I love that child like and playful grin you always wear that reminds me of your childish side when you try to act strong.
I love how, although you have a mature side, your not afraid to act like the young child you truly are.
I love how you'll talk a load of crap that doesn't make any sense at all but never give it a second thought and are proud of it.
I don't mind how you can be mean and hurtful with your wise crack's and clever comments that can really and truly get to me in unthinkable ways because of how unharmful the comment really was.
Part FourI turned to the side, back and forth, back and forth until staying in here became unbearable. Everyone else seemed to be asleep and I bet all the boy's were too. I stood up and slowly unzipped the hatch and as quietly as I could, undid the main entrance. When I was safely outside without managing to awake anyone up, I decided it'd best if I just went down to the river and didn't wonder off to far. Although I was only in those sweat pants and vest top it was unusually warm out tonight for some reason. I looked up at the hazy moon and sighed in happiness. I love the moon so much and the night. I don't know what it was but it could possibly and mostly likely be the star's.
when I arrived at the river a went over to one of the 5 chair looking tree stumps and watched the water for what seemed like hours. I eventually gave up and looked up to the star filled sky knowing I'd never get bored star gazing. A few minutes later, I decided to get up and walk over to the water's edge. On
Part threeInside the tent wasn't as bad as I'd thought it would be. I was pretty sure it was a 6 man ten cause it had a huge main entrance and two small separate rooms opposite from each other. I looked in each room but found Annica and Vera's bags in the left one so I guessed that was ours. I climbed in to the already made pod and started unpacking a few things that I needed for the moment. I got out my sleep wear and as fast as I could got changed in to sweat pants and a vest top. I hopefully wont be needing to go back out cause I certainly was not going to be going out side only dressed in this right front of Carl, Leo and Aden. especially Aden. I have another friend at home called Cindy and she used to tell me 'if you've got it, flaunt it!' which I strongly disagree to. And right now I'm practically in my pants and a tight vest. No way.
I started rummaging threw my bag again hoping I'd brought something to entertain me. I felt something heavy and lifted it out the bag and dr
BloodI've got a filthy mouth,
& a house of stars
thriving in my throat.
& I still have yet to tame
this grounded constellation
I call my temple. -Slithering
tongue hissing too many
"fuck you's" against my teeth.
I fear I will write myself hollow-
or until my bones are corroded away
& I am nothing-
an insignificant nebula
orbiting the wrong atmosphere.
But, my veins bleed sweet ichor,
& words are only words, Mother.
admittance is defeatthey called you beautiful
with porcelain eyes about to crack
and cigarette skin crumbling
away, a knotted spine and
you were never gracious.
you're slipping underneath, this
virulent smog masks a paper sky that
never allowed a dream and
you're afraid because it's soaking in
your pores again, unattainable and unoriginal;
the meaning of life never meant enough-
you were never hopeful.
there's a getaway map on the underside
of your pillow, and a lifetime of secrets
on the underside of your bones
you're a walking travesty:
your chest ticks, dull
your wrist beats, dying
time is keeping you but
you were never patient.
you lie large enough to make us believe you
don't entertain nightmares, but what if
no one could hear you scream?
remarkable, it seems
caged birds really know how
to sing out
(you were always beautiful)
You'll never break meHit me
Why do you cut?"Because it's a pain that I can control when it stops, whereas the pain inside. It doesn't stop. It never stops. It's not control over the pain I need, its that power to decide when enough is enough."
That's what she told me when I asked her why she cut. But that wasn't the whole truth. And as the tally etched down her legs, the reverse of the marking of ages against a doorjamb in her parent's house, I saw another truth. I gave her space until she felt safe enough to say it out loud. An addendum to the truth:
"I need the scars, I need to be able to blame them for being unlovable. Need to be able to blame my past, my craziness, the pain and those who caused it for being unlovable. For no one wanting me. Need them to cover my body so people see them first and the shape of me second. I need them as a mask. Because if the scars are gone then the truth is obvious. That no one wants me because of my body first, and my mind second.. and I can't blame anyone but myself for those things. The sc
I'd Be Pretty If I'd Just...I'd be pretty if I'd just smile
If I'd cut my hair a certain way
And cover myself up in that chemical crap you call make-up
But did you ever think that just maybe...
I don't wanna be pretty
That I just wanna be me
Who cares if no one ever calls me beautiful
Who cares if I'm never asked to dance
Hell I don't even know how to dance anyway
I don't care how the world sees me
I only care how I see me
And I think there's nothing wrong with the girl in the mirror
Sure she doesn't smile much but that's cause she's going through hell
Her face may look plain without any make-up
But that's just the way I like it
An old pair of jeans
The first t-shirt could find
My hair in a braid
I'm ready to go
To where no one cares just what I look like
Least of all me
It's a barn full of horses
That's where I choose to spend my days
Where no one cares about what I wear
Where I never have to hear "I'd be pretty if I'd just..."
dead girls don't write poetrydear someone,
there are no funerals
for the flesh
for the mind
no curtains & no cremations
for all our pretty words
you can't save every patient
a corpse would warm your bed
Stereotypical EmoEmo does not mean to have cool puffy backcombed hair with side bangs and the long extensions and the colorful colours through it
Emo does not mean wearing black T-shirts/tops/vests or band tops or the wrist bands, and with skulls decorating everything you wear
Emo does not mean cutting yourself all the time or constantly sulking for yourself
Emo is not a type of music which is personally designed
Emo is not a type/brand of person or a feeling or constantly acting like there's no one there for you and you're all alone
Emo Means Emotional
It can be hating yourself for your own person reasons and everyone chooses to express it in different ways, all these things are just some ways some choose to do so
Well, they were before they became so over used and can just be a fashion statement to some or just a normal music genre to listen to.
But the long fringe can sometimes be the only thing they feel they can hide behind silently and unnoticeable without difficulty
Sometimes it's a case of wear
To depression, for creating days without endWake up to the realization that you've been awake
for seconds, minutes, hours.
You've been awake in this warm, dark room
and you don't know how long it's been
but now you're conscious
and it starts again--
the pain, strong and steady, in your chest.
You gain consciousness in this too warm morning
and your thoughts whir in endless loops
because it's either that or face the weight in your chest.
Light breaks though the window, soft and unwelcome
but you take it as a reluctant gift--
a new distraction from the feelings awake in your chest.
Awake, but not conscious.
So you think yourself in circles a little while longer
waiting for those quiet pains
(the constant reminder)
to gain consciousness.
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More